Breka (Weirdo): Why are you snickering?

Hedy (Host): I’m not. It’s nothing. Do you need a glass of water before we start?

Breka: First, explain to me again what this is for. It feels weird.

Hedy: Quit fidgeting.

Breka: Ow

Hedy: You are an orc, who is also a highly trained Battle Guardian. That didn’t hurt. Oh, that’s a great place to start. Breka, what’s it like protecting the citizenry of Washington, DC.

Breka: You know what I do.

Hedy: Yes. I know. But our readers don’t. You answer my questions, and the readers get to know you.

Breka: Readers? Who would want to know what I do all day?

Hedy: Talk to me like I don’t know you. When do Wardens swing into action? Our readers want to know.

Breka: So weird. Before I met you, we were called out to handle any breaches, fix out-of-control magic, resolve criminal activity. I’ve been involved in several murder investigations ever since…

Hedy: There is no need to point fingers. Besides, you said you enjoyed the excitement.

Breka: If it were a normal investigation into a dead body, sure. But I’ve been assigned to keep you safe, and you keep tripping over the darn things.

Hedy: Again, as I’ve said repeatedly, it’s not like I’m actively murdering anyone. Never mind. What’s your favorite thing about living here on Earth, more specifically, here in Washington?

Breka:

Hedy: Our readers can’t see you shrugging. Just pick something. You are making this unnecessarily difficult. Fine. What’s your favorite weapon?

Breka: Oh, that’s easy. Actually, no. I mean, I don’t go anywhere without Mazoga. But, Hedy, Torin's crafting me a new warhammer, except the head can reshape itself into an axe, and the shaft extends into a spear. All I have to do is think about what I need. He's still working on getting it to recognize my—

Hedy: Yeah, yeah. You named the double-headed axe currently propped against your chair just in case it’s needed… Mazoga?

Breka: What? She was amazing. My nan told stories about her like she might have been there, but I think that part was an exaggeration. But everyone knows the story of Mazoga who defied her father and refused the throne because the people needed a general, not another queen.

Hedy: Good grief. Are you a... fangirl? You are! Are you blushing? Ha!

Breka: Orcs don’t blush!

Hedy: Riiiight. Well, we’re all out of time. Thank you all for joining me.

Breka: Who are you talking to?

Hedy: Until next month!